Family Friendly Singing Telegrams
Pirate Singing Telegrams
pirate singing telegram
Ahoy, Matey!
We have pirates. Male pirates, female pirates, pretty pirates, ugly pirates. All kinds of Buccaneers. Savvy?
Shiver Me Timbers! A pirate is a great character for the shipshape boating enthusiast and landlubbers too.
Why not invite Scurge the Pirate to pillage and plunder the heart of the birthday girl? Or Wench Crack Jenny to lower the boom on the birthday sea dog?
Here's the scuttle. Our Pirates will sing a few chanteys and tease the birthday scallywags by bringing up some funny stories and embarrassing moments from their past.
You might want to Batten Down The Hatches before these funny pirates arrive. They are sure to incite a tsunami storm of laughter from your party guests!
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the pirates are very willing to take off their clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
Let us know if it's OK if they "talk like a sailor." Is it OK if they check out the booty of your guest of honor? Our pirates are also perfectly willing to administer a birthday flogging for the scurvy dog.
pricing
Yo Ho Ho!
How much loot are you going to shell out?
$150 will get you one pirate. $275 will get you two.
$50 add on for strip tease to boxers or bikini.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Call us today. We accept regular US currency. No need to dig out the dubloons.
Talula Hula Dancer Singing Telegrams
TALULA HULA GIRL SINGING TELEGRAM
Who wouldn’t want a lei for their birthday?
Bring a taste of the islands to your next party with one of our hula dancer. singing telegrams. Perfect choice for a tropical themed party. Or a festive pick me up on a cold winter birthday celebration.
Our Talula Hula Girl or Hector Hula will treat your honored guest or the entire party to a customized hula lesson!
These hula characters will bring a hilarious twist to your next party or event.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the hula dancers are very willing to take off their clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
pricing
one hula dancer is $150. Two hula dancers are $275
$50 add on for strip tease to boxers or bikini.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Hector Hula Singing Telegrams
hector hula singing telegram
A man in a skirt will make everyone smile.
Hula Testimonials
hector hula
talula hula girl
talula hula girl
“It was pretty comical. People loved it. We wanted to do something to embarrass her and it was the perfect thing!” -- Greg Joos
talula hula girl
talula hula girl
talula hula girl
“She did a super great job. We all really loved it. She just did a wonderful job.” -- Dorothy Larson
Military Singing Telegrams
DRILL SERGEANT SINGING TELEGRAM
This bossy funny drill sergeant will whip the birthday boy into shape, shouting "Get down and give me 20 pushups!"
Also a good choice for a farewell party for someone going into military service.
We have men or women drill sergeants ready to give orders. The party guests will laugh with glee to see the guest of honor put to the test by our hilarious singing drill sergeant.
We also have other military uniforms in our arsenal of costumes. Give us a call if you have another military character in mind. We just might be able to do it!
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the drill sergeant very willing to take off their clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
pricing
military character is $150
$50 add on for strip tease to boxers or bikini.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Uncle Sam Singing Telegrams
UNCLE SAM SINGING TELEGRAM
Uncle Sam has been looking over your tax return and he's found a discrepancy. You listed the name Uncle Sam as your dependent.
He will come up with a long list of illegal itemized deductions (based on the personal information you provide about the recipient.)
Income tax is the fine you pay for thriving so fast.
He will sing a bevy of comical patriotic songs with modified lyrics teasing the guest of honor.
This is a funny choice for someone who is proud to be an American.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, Uncle Sam is very willing to take off his clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
pricing
Uncle Sam is $150
$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
Navy Gal Singing Telegrams
NAVY GAL SINGING TELEGRAM
Cute and sassy vintage Navy gal sings songs from WWII golden era and other sea worthy tunes.
"You joined the Navy to see the world. But what did you see? You saw the sea."
Perfect choice for a Navy veteran's birthday party or that boating fanatic you know.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the Navy Gal is very willing to take off her clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
pricing
Navy Gal is $150
$50 add on for strip tease down to something skimpy.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Boy Scout Singing Telegrams
BOY SCOUT SINGING TELEGRAM
We have two types of scouts to choose from, the goody-two shoes and the naughty scout.
The goody-two shoes scout is the one that's busy helping old ladies cross the street, saving stray cats from trees, and generally would not be out of place in a lassie episode. This good scout will help your friends or co-workers find their sense of fun again. He'll be polite and innocent, as that's what scouts were taught. He'll use his scout training to entertain them for fifteen minutes with three songs and comedic banter in between.
The naughty scout is the scout that would be busy smoking cigarettes in the woods, lighting firecrackers while skipping the fire safety lesson, and trying his best to sneak over to the girl scout camp.
This mischievous prankster, however, managed to get his knot tying merit badge and will use his scout training to tie up the birthday girl. He'll untie her eventually, but not until he's delivered songs and foul-mouthed banter.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the boy scout is very willing to take off his clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts, Perfect for birthdays and bachelorette parties.
pricing
Boyscout is $150
$50 add on for strip tease to boxers.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Use a compass to find your phone and then give us a call!
Fire Man Singing Telegrams
FIRE MAN SINGING TELEGRAM
This fire fighter will start fires that you won't want put out.
He sings “Come on Baby, Light my fire,” and two other songs, mixed in with plenty of comedy banter. to create a 15 minute customized singing telegram show. Fill us in on funny stories, nicknames and embarrassing moments from the recipient's past.
Great for those fire starters in your life, whether they have issues accidentally starting fires or are just pyromaniacs. This is also a great telegram for any guys who are firefighters that you happen to know.
Or for someone so old they need a fire man to put out the candles on their birthday cake.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
For an extra fee, the fire man can put on a smoldering highly comic strip show to boxer shorts. Appropriate for bars and restaurants and great for bachelorette parties.
pricing
Fireman is $150
$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Call to reserve your Fire Man today!
But if it's a real fire, please call 911.
Cave Man Singing Telegrams
CAVE MAN OR CAVE WOMAN SINGING TELEGRAM
Ug the caveman and Ugly the Cave Woman are a little lost. We discovered them exiting a cave in a previously uncharted island in the middle of Lake Nokomis.
To keep themselves busy the past few thousand years, Ug and Ugly taught themselves to sing and play the rock drums (the literal kind). They are ready to sing three stone age hits taught to them by the ancestors.
Cavemen love telling stories, for those long, cold nights. Tell us some stories about the recipient. Ug and Ugly will do their best to personalize the performance so that it will become something you'll tell stories about in the future.
Ug can play the dumb, crass caveman who can't use full sentences, or the intelligent, out of place caveman. The choice is up to you! He can bring his girlfriend Ugly along if one cave dweller isn't enough.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Ug and Ugly also came from a time when clothing wasn't such a big deal. So, for an extra fee they will perform a comedy strip down to their loincloths, but no nudity. Ug is still a little shy.
pricing
Cave man or cave woman is $150. Both for $275
$50 add on for strip tease to boxers or bikini.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
So what are you waiting for? Contact us by telephone or signal fire today!
Funny Chef Singing Telegrams
FUNNY CHEF SINGING TELEGRAM
Julia Childs? Emeril Lagasse? Our funny chef will claim to be a much better cook.
We have male or female funny singing chef characters with simmering smooth voices and and more than a pinch of humor. Great gag gift for someone who can use a little help in the kitchen. Or for someone who boasts about their grilling skills. We'll see how well they hold up after being grilled by our chef.
Tell us some funny stories and embarrassing moments about the guest of honor. This singing telegram is a "mini roast" personalized with information to make them the star of the show.
Be it a birthday, anniversary or retirement party, your loved one will be just pickled with a funny chef singing telegram.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the funny chef is very willing to take off his or her clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
pricing
Chef is $150
$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers or something skimpy.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Call us today so we can cook you up some good fun!
Red Hat Lady Singing Telegrams
red hat lady singing telegram
This comical red hat lady is a great choice for the Red Hat Society lady you know.
She will sing and joke around boasting how the most important thing in life is HAVING FUN! Red Hat Society ladies are required to do nothing else. Just have fun.
This is a 15 minute singing and comedy show. Tell us some funny stories and embarrassing moments about the guest of honor. Our red hat lady will use this information to personalize the act.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
pricing
Red hat lady is $150
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Priest or Nun Singing Telegrams
Grab interest
Does someone need to make a confession? Or are they just a recovering Catholic? Perhaps they need an exorcism?
Our funny priest or nun sing and entertain for 15 minutes of singing and comedy joy. Tell us a bit about the person receiving the telegram, personality quirks, pet peeves, funny sins from the past, and our entertainers will know from their "past confessions" to include the information the act.
We can customize the show to be sweet and silly or full of irreverent religious humor.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the priest or nun are very willing to take off their clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy, Perfect for birthdays, bachelor and bachelorette parties.
pricing
One entertainer is $150. Two entertainers are $275
$50 add on for strip tease to boxers or bikini.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Priest and Nun Options
Singing Funny Priest
priest and nun together
priest and nun together
Our clergy are fantastic singers.
priest and nun together
priest and nun together
priest and nun together
Two confessions are better than one.
Grim Reaper Singing Telegrams
GRIM REAPER SINGING TELEGRAM
When it's time to go, it's time to go!
The grim reaper, angel of death is a good choice for an "over the hill" birthday party. This creepy, yet funny character will give the guest of honor a chance to stick around for at least one more year if they can pass the grim reaper's comical quiz game and dexterity test.
This is a 15 minute singing and comedy show. Tell us some funny stories and embarrassing moments about the guest of honor. Our grim reaper will use this information to personalize the act.
tell us about your audience
We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for family or corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.
G rated - good clean humor
PG rated - flirtatious and fun
PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes
Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)
Like most of our performers, the grim reaper is very willing to take off this or her clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts or something skimpy,
Close the deal
Grim reaper is $150
$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers or bikini.
Additional zone fee applies based on location
and 20% gratuity is customary.
Your over the hill loved one is not getting any younger. Call us now before it's too late!
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QUESTIONS?
We love our customers, so feel free to call us during normal business hours. We will be happy to answer your questions and make suggestions in choosing the best party entertainers for your event.
Hours
Open today | 09:00 am – 05:00 pm |