Dark Humor Singing Telegrams

Bad Clown Singing Telegrams

Bad clown singing telegram

Tipsy the clown has just stopped trying. "Clowns get a bad rap these days," he says. "Everyone's afraid of clowns. I get spit on in the streets. I used to be the top clown in Barnum and Bailey's circus."



Some people are born to be clowns. Tipsy was not. He tries, however, but he just isn't very good at it. He likes to think of himself as a maverick, someone who blazes new territory for his profession. "Clown school's for losers," he says, between drags of his cigarette. "I don't need someone to tell me how to do my job. I was born for this. I been doing this since I been in diapers,”





(Which is ironic, since due to some bladder issues Tipsy's back in diapers again. Don't point that out, though.). “I taught half those clowns out there everything they know about being a clown." [editor's note: Tipsy was evasive about actually telling us the names of anybody to follow up that claim.]



Tipsy will do his best to do his act, which is supposed to be 15 minutes of songs and banter, but you'll have to excuse him if he needs to take a break to smoke a cigarette or drink a beer, or expel excess gas, or scratch, or adjust his pants, or... well, you get the idea. He's knows a few hilarious jokes, but he's not a very good clown.





Just don't tease him about his makeup. He hates that.





Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the show appropriate for more lenient corporate environments, or a little more racy for an adult birthday party.





G rated - good clean humor? This show is not really G rated


PG rated - bawdy and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy with mild cursing sexual innuendo jokes


Strip grams PG 13 - not sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)





Pricing


is $150


$50 add on for strip tease down to diapers. (no nudity.)


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Like most of our performers, tipsy is very willing to take off his or her clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to something horrifying.





To see the spectacular failure of Tipsy: Call Party Crasher People today!

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Bad Clown Testimonial

Bad Clown

“I could use all the space on your message machine telling you how great and pleased I am with everything. It was a huge hit.  It was perfect.  Absolutely perfect. Better than I ever imagined it could be. I never even hoped it would be so good. It was perfect. I want to thank you so much. Perfect, perfect, perfect. I can’t say it enough. I’m sure I’ll be calling you again and again. Thanks a lot. You guys are awesome.”
-- Jill Herlofski,

Blarney Singing Telegrams

blarney the drunken dinosaur singing telegram

Oh Blarney. In his later years, he was abandoned by his group of kids, who used the lessons they learned from him and grew up to be mildly successful, if not slightly maladjusted. With his TV show cancelled and the job market not too strong for high-pitched purple dinosaurs, Blarney took up drinking and has been trying to quit ever since.





Luckily he can still sing, (although he is not guaranteed to remember all the words to songs.)  He knows some hilarious jokes, even though he sometimes misses the punchline. We cannot guarantee he won't slur his words or stay completely upright. He will, however, perform for 15 glorious minutes!





Don't blame him if he tries to get other people to sing along, or if he starts trying to relive his glory days on that playground. Just ignore him if he bothers you for a drink.



Blarney's drinking has eroded his standards, and he also offers a PG rated comedic (and slightly horrifying) striptease.





Please hire him, he needs the work.



Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the singing telegram appropriate for some corporate environments, or a little more racy for an adult birthday party. We don't want to scar the children with a drunken Blarney!





G rated - good clean humor? This is not a G rated show.


PG rated - bawdy and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy with mild cursing sexual innuendo jokes





Pricing


is $150


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Like most of our entertainers, Blarney is very willing to performs a highly comic strip tease.down to... well the Blarney suit.





Call to reserve your Party Crasher People Singing Telegram today!

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Pregnant Bride Singing Telegrams

pregnant bride singing telegram

She's a little depressed. But you would be too if you were ready to pop. 





Who's the father? Why it must be the guest of honor. They met 9 months ago for one glorious night and she never heard from him again. Using her sleuthing skills she's finally tracked him down and she's ready to get hitched before the baby's born. Oops. Too late. The baby is coming now! Let us know if you want her to give birth to the baby at your show.





This very funny act is full of hilarious jokes and sarcastic humor. Great for an adult birthday party, for a bachelor party or a man's birthday party in Minneapolis or Saint Paul .





Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for some some corporate environments or a little more racy for adult audiences.





G rated - good clean humor? This is not a G rated show


PG rated - flirtatious and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy with mild cursing sexual innuendo jokes





Pricing


is $150


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Call today before she goes into labor!

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Skanky Stripper Singing Telegrams

Skanky Stripper Singing telegram

Thelma DuBois has been in the stripping game for a long time. Maybe she's past her prime, but she's still got her wit and can belt out a song.





The skanky stripper will horrify the birthday boy as she starts to disrobe. Yep, that's a flesh colored lumpy fat body suit, so she's not really all that naked.





She will entertain, (or perhaps nauseate,) for 15 minutes of bad singing, bad dancing, hilarious jokes and bawdy comedy.





She seems to know an awful lot about the guest of honor. Have they met before? He looks very familiar, although one man looks pretty much like every other man to Thelma. Any man will do.





Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit this singing telegram to best suit your adult birthday party. We can make the show appropriate for some lenient corporate environments, or a little more racy.





G rated? - good clean humor? This is not a G rated show.


This show is rated: PG 13 - a little racy with mild cursing and sexual innuendo jokes. 


She strips down to an unattractive lumpy fat suit. (No real nudity.)





Pricing


Skanky stripper is $175


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Call now to book Thelma for a phenomenon that will be stamped in your mind forever! Sorry, you can't un-see this.

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Bad Mime Silent Singing Telegrams

bad mime silent singing telegram

Do you know someone that hates mimes? Well, our mimes probably won't do much to change that opinion, but they will be funny in the process So why not send a hilarious bad mime to annoy your friend or co-worker?





The bad mime will perform a silent singing telegram full of hilarious jokes especially tailored to incorporate the pet-peeves of the birthday recipient. Is he afraid of germs? This mime will have a terrible cold, coughing, sneezing and blowing her nose. And where can she wipe her germy wet hands? Why on the birthday boy's sleeve of course. 





Let us know how we can create a really bad mime show to be laughed at and remembered for years to come at your adult birthday party.





Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit most of our singing telegrams to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for adult audiences.





G rated - good clean humor


PG rated - flirtatious and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy


Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)





Pricing


is $150


$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers or something skimpy. (no nudity.)


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Like most of our performers, the bad mime is very willing to take off his or her clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts, or something skimpy. 





Call Party Crashers People Today! If someone answers the call but doesn't speak, you'll know who it is.

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Bad Mime Testimonial

bad mime

“Thanks for making our bosses birthday one to remember!” -- Paul A. Olson

Punk Rocker Singing Telegrams

punk rocker singing telegram

Oi! You there! 





Let our punker help someone you know break through the oppressive shackles of the mundane. 





Armed with attitude and an arsenal of songs, our punk will show them how to get back in touch with their independent streak. They'll bring a prop mohawk and dress up your guest in the iconic punk hairdo, and engage in other hilarious jokes as they howl some favorite punk-era classics. 





We have both male or female punkers. Great for girls and guys who came of age in the 80's and want to relive their punk days. Let us know some information about the recipient. Our talented entertainers will include that in the singing telegram show.



Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit most of our singing telegrams to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for corporate environments and suitable for children, or a little more racy for an adult birthday party.





G rated - good clean humor


PG rated - flirtatious and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy with sexual innuendo jokes


Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)





Pricing


is $150


$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers or something skimpy. (no nudity.)


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Like most of our performers, punkers are very willing to take off their clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts, or something skimpy Perfect for birthdays, and bachelor and bachelorette parties. 





Call to reserve your Party Crasher People Singing Telegram today!

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Naughty Natasha Singing Telegrams

naughty natasha singing telegram

This Russian spy is looking for stolen documents. Where could they be? Hiding in the recipient's drawers?





She's naughty and mean and doesn't think twice about punishing the birthday boy with a spanking.





Her Russian accent sounds a little suspicious, is she really a counter spy? After hearing her singing and hilarious jokes, who really cares? She will seduce the recipient with her sultry voice and comedy antics.





Tell us funny stories, secret fetishes, embarrassing moments from the guest of honor's past. Natasha will be sure to bring them up for all to know about. This is a very entertaining 15 minute singing telegram experience.





Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit most of our singing telegrams to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for some corporate environments, or a little more racy for your adult birthday party in Minneapolis or Saint Paul.





Pricing


is $150


$50 add on for strip tease down to something skimpy. (no nudity.)


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Like most of our performers, Naughty Natasha is very willing to take off h clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to something skimpy Perfect for birthdays, and bachelor parties. 





Call today to reserve your Party Crasher People Singing Telegram!

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Hillbilly Singing Telegrams

hillbilly Singing telegram

Fresh from the country and full of moonshine, our hillbillies will show your favorite country bumpkin how you don't need to have a pair of shoes or all your teeth to have a good time. 


They'll sing three country hits and display their hillbilly humor for fifteen minutes. Hire them individually or together for a barn-burnin' good time.


Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit most of our singing telegrams to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for some corporate environments, or a little more racy for adult audiences.


G rated? - good clean humor? Let us know if you want family friendly hillbillies. They won't look like this!

PG rated - bawdy and fun

PG 13 - a little more racy with mild cursing and sexual innuendo jokes

Strip grams PG 13 - not really sexy but a little naughty (no full nudity)


Pricing

One hillbilly is $150. Two hillbillies are $275

$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers or something skimpy. (no nudity.)

Additional zone fee applies based on location 

and 20% gratuity is customary.


Like most of our performers, our hillbillies are very willing to take off their clothes for an extra fee. The entertainers perform a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts, or something skimpy Perfect for birthdays, and bachelor parties. 


So grab your straw hat and corncob pipe and give us a call. 

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Pimp Daddy Singing Telegrams

pimp daddy singing telegram

This sleazy pimp daddy is all about making the green. Funny character for a sales meeting in more lenient company environments. Good as a congratulations for meeting a sales goal or a funny happy birthday wish to a businessperson or marketer.





Give us the specifics and we can customize this show with hilarious jokes to convey the message you need.


 


Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit most of our singing telegrams to best suit your crowd. We can make the shows appropriate for some corporate environments, or a little more racy for an adult birthday party and adult audiences.





G rated?- good clean humor? We can keep it pretty clean, but not really for kids.


PG rated - flirtatious and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy with mild cursing and sexual innuendo jokes


Strip grams PG 13 - sexy and a little naughty (no full nudity)





Pricing


is $150


$50 add on for strip tease down to boxers or something skimpy. (no nudity.)


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Like most of our performers, pimp daddy is very willing to take off h clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to boxer shorts. Perfect for birthdays, and bachelorette parties. 





Call today to schedule a meeting with your pimp!

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Rude Crude Elvis Singing Telegrams

Rude crude elvis singing telegram

We all love Elvis! But what if he's still alive and not so well and really gone down hill?





If he had problems with drugs back in 1977, imagine how much he's deteriorated since then! This bumbling, stumbling pale shadow of his former king of rock ' roll self will have your party guests rolling with laughter.





He will entertain with 15 minutes of songs, hilarious jokes and raucous comedy. He may need to look at his scribbled notes about the guest of honor since his memory isn't so good these days, but he will give it his best shot to include funny stories and embarrassing moments about the guest of honor into his show. His bladder isn't so good these days either, so  he might need to take a toilet break.





This fowl mouthed irreverent Elvis singing telegram is best for a casual adult audience who is not easily offended. Probably not a good choice for a devoted Elvis fan, (who will be much happier with one of our competent Elvis impersonators.)





Tell us about your audience. We can tailor fit most of our singing telegrams to best suit your crowd. We can tone this show down to make it appropriate for some corporate environments, it's usually pretty racy for an adult birthday party.





G rated?- good clean humor? No way. This is not a G rated show


PG rated - flirtatious and fun


PG 13 - a little more racy with mild cursing and sexual innuendo jokes


Strip grams PG 13 - not sexy and a little disgusting. (no full nudity)





Pricing


is $150


$50 add on for strip tease dance. (no nudity.)


Additional zone fee applies based on location 


and 20% gratuity is customary.





Rude crude Elvis is so desperate for money these days he is perfectly willing to take off his clothes for an extra fee. The entertainer performs a highly comic strip tease down to something you really don't want to see. Perfect for birthdays, and bachelorette parties. 





Call today to before he leave's the building.

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Contact Us

QUESTIONS?

We love our customers, so feel free to call us during normal business hours. We will be happy to answer your singing telegram questions and make suggestions in choosing the best party entertainers for your adult birthday party. Available in Minneapolis, Saint Paul and all surrounding suburbs including western Wisconsin and  Hudson.

Party Crasher People

2657 Grand St NE, Minneapolis, MN 55418, US

(612) 789-6666

Hours

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